As a child, I wasn’t taught about my body. One day, two sixth grade girls invited my friend and me into a basement room of one of their homes that was big and slightly run-down. They pulled up their jerseys and told us to rub their breasts and we did.
Driving home from counseling one night, my inner voice told me that I would experience shame the following day. I had learned that week that shame referred to something wrong with the person.
The next morning, scenes pushed away since I had been a girl suddenly surfaced, and I realized, “This is shame.” I felt sad and empty, angry and weak. I hurt. I felt ashamed that I hadn’t known better. I sat until the memories began to ebb, then talked aloud with words of understanding and acceptance. Releasing a little sigh, my body slouched back. I smiled slightly. My chest heaved out and sank, letting go of a big sigh. I was quiet. Then I grinned. I felt the relief. I had released secrets from my youth and now knew about their hiding capacity. Next week, seeing a client feeling shame, I could help.*
Body curiosity and exploration is natural. As a counselor, I searched out parenting skills' information for teaching children according to what my client asked, but how to teach children about their bodies, respecting age differences, was not a request made. Had it been, I would have searched further—as that was information that I hadn't had as a parent myself.
My realization is, “When we carry memories in recesses, unobserved since their occurrence, unexamined they may affect our present until released.
*Adapted from A Flower for God
Driving home from counseling one night, my inner voice told me that I would experience shame the following day. I had learned that week that shame referred to something wrong with the person.
The next morning, scenes pushed away since I had been a girl suddenly surfaced, and I realized, “This is shame.” I felt sad and empty, angry and weak. I hurt. I felt ashamed that I hadn’t known better. I sat until the memories began to ebb, then talked aloud with words of understanding and acceptance. Releasing a little sigh, my body slouched back. I smiled slightly. My chest heaved out and sank, letting go of a big sigh. I was quiet. Then I grinned. I felt the relief. I had released secrets from my youth and now knew about their hiding capacity. Next week, seeing a client feeling shame, I could help.*
Body curiosity and exploration is natural. As a counselor, I searched out parenting skills' information for teaching children according to what my client asked, but how to teach children about their bodies, respecting age differences, was not a request made. Had it been, I would have searched further—as that was information that I hadn't had as a parent myself.
My realization is, “When we carry memories in recesses, unobserved since their occurrence, unexamined they may affect our present until released.
*Adapted from A Flower for God