A Lot of Fish in the Sea

One evening during a freshman year vacation, four young men who’d been former boyfriends arrived at my home. Having met Paul the first week at the university, I knew he was special, and so I told them that I wasn’t available. Now I wish I’d said that I would enjoy doing something with each of them. Unknowingly, I was already transferring my dependence on my father to my dependence on Paul—isolating myself from friendships with other young men.

After Paul and I set our wedding date, I asked my father if I had made the right choice. He answered, “It’s your decision, there’s a lot of fish in the sea”—words I could have used years ago. Relating to boys as friends, listening to their views and goals, could have been a step toward understanding that I needed to learn who I was. Instead I focused on who would be my boyfriend, and consequently my high school dating narrowed rather than widened my exposure for learning and assessing.

In Discourses, Meher Baba* says, "Human love is for the many in the One, and divine love is for the One in the many."

My realization is, “We can see a person as right or wrong for us individually, but must base that on knowing that the One is in each of us.”

*Avatar of the Age