The Source is Within

Professional Photography by Willene Johnson

Each day I leave my six-room apartment (my not our) to walk downhill fifteen minutes on NW 16th Avenue. Cars pass at greater than thirty-five miles per hour as I cross a small, grassy area between the concrete sidewalk and trees. With each first step onto the boardwalk of Alfred A. Ring Nature Preserve, I more easily feel calm here than I do at home during these early days after my husband’s passing. I don’t have the words yet to explain this, but within me I know these walks, morning and afternoon, are helping me heal.

The preserve is a dense forest of Loblolly pines and dwarf palmettos where I walk at a meandering pace, closer then farther from the Hogtown Creek. Small beaches have formed on its curves. It is peaceful. One day, stepping off onto pine needles on a slight slope, I go to the edge of the creek and sit looking to see what is on the bottom of the shallow water, moving slowly. Not thinking of anything, I hear the words “Sittin’ by a stream,” then more words, and I sing them, knowing the melody.

Sittin' by a stream

Ripples over sand

Watchin' life going go

And what I don't understand

I ask God to take

In His hands of White Light

Because I know what follows

Will be all right.

Ooo--ooo-ooo--ooo-/ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo--ooo--ooo---ooo—ooo---ooo

When I finish, I feel better than when I arrived. Every morning and afternoon now as I mosey along, I sing this ditty to God, and again.

The nature preserve was donated to the city in 1990 (it is now 1996) by college professor, Alfred A. Ring, who had a garden designed in a clearing for his wife, Emily S., in her memory. In a pond ringed by wildflowers’ riotous colors, goldfish flash under patches of sun then dim as the shadows shift. Nearby is a pergola. I rest my legs here, outstretched, as my thoughts drift. I have loved and have been loved. I affirm how fortunate I am.

My realization is, “There is a source within that awaits our readiness. I believe it appears unrelated to all possible factors except for our willingness to receive from it in whatever form appears.”