Months later, I noticed a sour smell and found it was coming from under my arm. I immediately remembered the book. Had I been thinking of something connected to fear in me? I scrubbed off the odor, changed clothes as the cloth was permeated, and hoped it wouldn’t reoccur. But it did.
Initially the odor came at intervals of months—then over two years the time decreased to weekly then daily and at times twice daily. It was obviously spiritual training. I knew that fear is found behind most other emotions, and it was clear I was holding fear that I wasn’t facing. Now I was being given an opportunity to release it, and I was grateful.
My fear when driving in certain areas of town was easy to recognize. Locked in movement among big trucks, orange buses, motorbikes, pedestrians, rickshaws, and bicycles, all focused on pushing into any opening to get ahead, the odor reliably appeared. But I valued my freedom of driving.
After too many months of hand washing clothes, as the washing machine quickly uses up tanker water, I finally surrendered. Giving up fear was fine. The occurrences did appear to be decreasing. But I’d had enough. The clothes now went into the washing machine with double soap as I called upon the water tanker more often. Going out socially, I carried a small plastic bag with a wash cloth, a bar of soap, and a second top, just in case.
My realization is, “It is helpful to believe in the ultimate good of all things happening to one.”