But any further thought to take his music to his audience did not develop. I could listen to it only occasionally. He had been unlike any man I had known, and that uniqueness vibrantly lived in his music. I wanted to love what we had had, yet live into my future on the empowerment of how I had grown with him—otherwise his music could have become my anchor to the past. Recognizing its grip on me, when I was given a message that would cause me to begin a one-hundred-eighty-degree turn toward a new life—Stephen’s music went into the background. Five years later, the timing was right and I shared his life’s accomplishments through music at Seraphim Center in Gainesville, Florida.*
This year marked 21 years since Stephen’s passing. For the past two years, I have been able to listen to his music, now transferred to CDs, with a new realization of the extent of his spiritual empowerment made available to all who listened to his channeled lyrics. As for me, I see myself then as innocent, yet open, and with my own awakening abilities, rapidly taking in experience and information. From our beginning to our ending, Stephen had been greatly advanced spiritually; during the eleven months before he took his last breath, he continued rapidly expanding in universal knowledge. Meanwhile, I was also in spiritual training, but on a different course—my focus, along with hope and prayer, was on the daily details within the practical responsibilities of our efforts to recover his active life.
Today, I find that I respond with an even deeper resonance to his words as their truth freshly enters my listening body. But even then, I was aware of how those who heard him were ferried by the rich timbre of his voice—willing riders to the destination of the word that he himself had chosen—surrender.
“Coming Home”
I have been living so long with a blindfold, I forgot what it’s like to see.
I spent all my life stumbling over my own feet. I thought it was over for me.
I stayed away from the Light and the Love. I knew what was better for me.
I found a home in the clouds of illusion. I thought that was sanity.
But now I’ve come home, and now I can see
That the Light I’ve been looking for is here inside of me.
And all the time that I wandered around, I’ve been angry cause He left me.
I looked everywhere outside of myself for my Master that I couldn’t see.
I stayed away from the Light and the Love. I knew what was better for me.
I found a home in the clouds of illusion. I thought that was sanity.
But he’s always there. It’s me who leaves.
And He always cares. He’s a Light that shines in me.
And now I’ve come home, and now I can see
that the Light I’ve been looking for is here inside of me.
But now I’ve come home, and now I can see
that the light I’ve been looking for is here inside of me.
My realization is, “Sometimes it takes stepping away from a former experience then stepping back to discover how much change has occurred within and the accompanying gratitude for the newly recognized progress.”
* Stephen Michael Camp, “Coming Home” by Stephen Michael Camp on Coming Home, Holy Smoke Studio, cassette.
*See “Watermelon Seeds” Stephen Michael Camp, EMOTIONS in Purely Prema.
* Seraphim Center: Rev. Dr. Janet Claire Moore, Senior Minister writes, “The Seraphim Center is an interfaith spiritual center, dedicated to the Light. … The Seraphim Center honors healing in all aspects: Both traditional and non-traditional methods are acceptable, as are the varied methods of divination. We believe that our planet and all life on it are precious, and are meant to be cherished, nurtured, and respected; and that we are to live our lives as best we can in joyfulness, peace, gratitude, and love.”
* Prema Jasmine Camp, A Flower for God (forthcoming). A memoir of my spiritual awakening and journey to God that began long before I was aware.