In October 1990, I took my first step into a new life as a spiritual seeker. In my past had been a marriage of twenty-plus years with its ending in 1986, then my exploration in another relationship that had ended in suffering by April 1989. But from the resulting hospitalization, I drew a positive benefit—my determination to change not the other person that I had seen as wrong—but me. I began investing in my emotional maturing, which I had yet to own (and which I continue developing today). By April 1990, I had ended the prescribed tricyclic drug to find that I felt free.
One month later, on a warmish, late afternoon June day as I was washing dishes—a bit dreamily, enjoying the sky's soft citrus-shades through an old split-leaf maple's leaves—I received my first spiritual confirmation. I heard a voice that I knew was a message of my healing. I was alone, but (just in case) I still looked over my shoulder. I had not suddenly quoted words from the Twenty-third Psalm of the King James Bible, yet I had heard them. Now, years later, I live by inner voice. But I look back in wonder at my acceptance then. I told no one for many months for I inwardly knew there was no one in my life who might understand.
The following January, I took my first step into a new relationship. I invited Stephen, a man from my spiritual study group, A Course in Miracles, to visit my home. As our friendship became months of dating, then living together, we began touring together as he was a spiritual music performer. In this way I met many people, had many experiences, and heard a good deal of spiritual information new to me. Two of my experiences during this period would become touchstones of clarity through the presence of a silver cord.
My realization is, "When memory becomes an overview, rather than a collection of details, new clarity and understanding occur."